Help With Bereavement – Sunnyfields Pet Crematorium

A guide for adults, seniors and children — written by Paula Townsend, Qualified Bereavement Counsellor & Hypnotherapist

You are not alone

Grieving for the loss of a pet — whether through death, enforced separation, theft or going missing — is one of life’s most painful experiences. Life, once filled with the love, companionship and friendship of your pet, can suddenly feel very empty.

Feelings of despair, loneliness, guilt and even depression are completely normal responses to pet loss. They are a testimony to the extraordinary bond between people and their animals. Unfortunately, not everyone understands this grief — and that can make an already difficult experience feel even more isolating.

At Sunnyfields Pet Crematorium, we understand. We have supported thousands of families through pet loss over more than 25 years. This guide has been written from that experience, with love and care, for you.

Your feelings are valid

However you are feeling right now — that is the right way to feel.

There is no correct way to grieve and no time limit on how long it takes. The intensity of grief we experience often depends on factors such as our age and personality, the age of our pet, and the circumstances of their loss. For those who live alone, a pet is often their primary companion — and their loss can be particularly profound.

Some things worth remembering:

You are not overreacting. Some people may not understand how deeply the loss of a pet affects us. Do not feel ashamed of your emotions. What you are feeling is completely normal and entirely valid.

Do not bottle it up. Suppressing grief only makes things harder in the long run. Allow yourself to feel whatever comes — sadness, anger, disbelief, guilt. All of it is part of healing.

It is alright to cry. It is alright to feel angry. You have lost someone very special. Be gentle with yourself.

Some days will be harder than others. That is normal. Grief does not follow a straight line — it comes in waves. Give yourself permission to have difficult days without feeling you are going backwards.

Coping with grief

Losing a much loved companion can affect us physically as well as emotionally. You may find it difficult to sleep, eat or carry out everyday tasks. You may feel nauseous, exhausted or physically unwell. These are all recognised responses to grief and they will ease with time.

Some things that can help:

Talk to supportive friends or family members who understand the bond you had with your pet
Allow yourself to cry and to remember — grief shared is grief lightened
Create a small memorial — a photograph, a favourite toy, a plant in the garden
Write about your pet — their personality, your favourite memories, what they meant to you
Be patient with yourself — healing takes time and looks different for everyone
If you are struggling, speak to your GP or a qualified bereavement counsellor

Helping children through pet loss

Losing a pet is often a child’s first experience of death. How you support them through it matters enormously.

Be honest. Avoid phrases like “put to sleep” or “gone to live somewhere else” — these can cause confusion, anxiety or false hope. Use simple honest language. It is alright to say that their pet died and that dying means they will not come back.

Let them feel their feelings. Children may feel sadness, anger, guilt or confusion — sometimes all at once. All of these responses are normal. Let them know that whatever they are feeling is alright.

Answer their questions. Older children may ask difficult questions. Answer them as openly and honestly as you can. It is alright to say “I don’t know” or “I feel sad about it too.”

Create a memory together. Drawing a picture, writing their pet’s name somewhere special, or holding a small farewell ceremony can all help children process loss in a healthy and meaningful way.

Do not rush to replace the pet. Well intentioned as it may be, getting a new pet too quickly can delay healing or trigger confusing emotions. Wait until the whole family feels ready.

A book to help your child

Written by Paula Townsend, Qualified Bereavement Counsellor & Hypnotherapist

Where Did My Pet Go? is a gentle illustrated picture book written specifically to help children aged 3 to 7 understand and process the loss of a beloved pet.

Drawing on more than 25 years of professional experience supporting families through pet bereavement, this book uses warm watercolour illustrations and compassionate words to guide young children through their biggest feelings — from confusion and sadness to anger, memory and love.

Uniquely, every page invites the child to write their own pet’s name — making this book personally theirs and their pet’s story.

The book includes a memories page with space for a photograph, a draw your pet page and professional guidance for the grown ups reading alongside.

Coming soon to Amazon Contact us to find out more

Ways to remember your pet

After your pet has passed, you may wish to hold a small funeral or memorial. This might involve scattering their ashes in a favourite place, burying something meaningful, saying a few words, or simply taking quiet time to remember them together as a family.

Once the immediate grief begins to soften, many families find comfort in celebrating their pet’s life — focusing on the joy they brought rather than the pain of their loss. Photographs, keepsakes, a memory box or a special plant in the garden can all keep your pet’s memory alive in a beautiful and lasting way.

We are here to help you find a farewell that feels right for you and your family.

Further support — books, websites and helplines

Books:

Where Did My Pet Go? by Paula Townsend — a gentle picture book for children aged 3 to 7 (coming soon)
Absent Friend: Coping with the Loss of a Treasured Pet by Laura and Martyn Lee
Companion Animal Death by Mary F Stewart
A Loving Farewell by Davina Woodcock
Goodbye, Dear Friend by Virginia Ironside
Missing My Pet by Alex Lambert (for children)

Helplines:

Pet Bereavement Support Service (Blue Cross) — Freephone 0800 096 6606 — pbssmail@bluecross.org.uk
PDSA National Collection of Pet Memories — Freephone 0800 591248
Cats Protection — Paws to Listen — Freephone 0800 024 94 94

Downloads:

PDSA leaflet — Dealing with Grief

This guide has been written by Paula Townsend, Qualified Bereavement Counsellor & Hypnotherapist, drawing on more than 25 years of professional experience supporting families through pet loss.

SUPPORTING YOU THROUGH PET LOSS

A guide for adults, seniors and children — written by Paula Townsend, Qualified Bereavement Counsellor & Hypnotherapist